Being hopelessly obsessed with someone or lusting after a person you can never have is torture. Even if you are desperate to break free from that emotional trap, it can be impossible to shake off those feelings.
Buddhism may have the answer to getting rid of those unwanted loves and lusts and help you see that person for what they really are.
In Buddhism this kind of attraction is considered as an affliction, stemming from greed and part of the defilements of the Five Desires and Six Dusts. The “five desires” refer to sensory desire, Ill will, Sloth-torpor, Restlessness-worry, and doubt, while the “six dusts” are sight, sound, scent/smell, taste, tangibles/touch and dharma/idea and are the qualities produced by the objects and organs of the senses.
When the five desires and six dusts flare up, it is a sign that the mind is impure and that it needs to be cleansed by visualising the “Four Truths” of impurity, suffering, impermanence and no-self.
Buddhism teaches you to look below the skin and reflect on the impurity of the body.
Do you visualize yourself in bed with them?
Getting married and sharing romantic moments? Buddhism teaches to remember they are just a person and under everything are made up of muscles and blood and mucus and spit. Rather than imagining your perfect future, reflect on the fact that they are made up of filthy substances like meat, bones, blood, phlegm and pus.
We excrete from nine openings on the body like the mouth, anus, nose and ears. To change your view of someone, it’s important to imagine them doing this.
Thinking as someone as being impure and just bones and blood, will stop the desire to cherish them and hopefully, you will be able to see them for what they really are.
This article was originally published on Peace Quarter.